FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APPOCALYPSE”

Gottman (1999) identifies the “four horsemen of the apocalypse” (Hocker and Wilmot, pages 22-28). When these behaviors are present in a relationship, the end is near.

Discuss how you have seen these used in relationships.
How have you felt when these were used on you?
Which of these behaviors do you use, with whom do you use these and in what circumstances?
Can you think of ways that you could communicate more honestly and constructively?
In your responses to other students you will want to be sure to share research, speak for yourself and share your own experiences. Do not use any of these horsemen in your discussions!

. Your initial post (your response to the topic) must contain a citation. It is your ideas supported by research. Please refer to the APA Power Point in the Start Here section of the classroom for information on proper formatting. There will be a deduction of 20 points for failure to cite a source within your initial post and to provide a reference at the end of your initial post.

3. Your initial post must be a minimum of 300 words

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The “four horsemen of the apocalypse” are four predictors of relationship failure: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling (Pater, 2016). Whenever conflict arises in a relationship, couples criticize one another’s personality and character instead of individual behavior that led to conflict. Secondly, during the conflict, partners try to defend themselves by justifying their actions, excusing themselves, and blaming games, thus failing to take responsibility for their actions. Thirdly contempt is exhibited when couples disrespect each other through passive-aggression such as sneers, sarcasm, and rolling of eyes. The last marker is stonewalling, which occurs when couples are overwhelmed and exhausted, becoming unresponsive and walking away from the relationship. When criticized, I felt a dismantling of my whole being. I felt hurt, rejected, and assaulted. Contempt such as mockery and ridicule made me feel worthless and despised. It caused a shiver whenever my partner would want to speak to me. By being defensiveness, my partner made me feel like he does not take me seriously and does not appreciate my efforts. Stonewalling caused an emotional breakdown and made it hard to express my thoughts and feelings.

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FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APPOCALYPSE”

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