FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APPOCALYPSE”

Answer preview

The “four horsemen of the apocalypse” are four predictors of relationship failure: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling (Pater, 2016). Whenever conflict arises in a relationship, couples criticize one another’s personality and character instead of individual behavior that led to conflict. Secondly, during the conflict, partners try to defend themselves by justifying their actions, excusing themselves, and blaming games, thus failing to take responsibility for their actions. Thirdly contempt is exhibited when couples disrespect each other through passive-aggression such as sneers, sarcasm, and rolling of eyes. The last marker is stonewalling, which occurs when couples are overwhelmed and exhausted, becoming unresponsive and walking away from the relationship. When criticized, I felt a dismantling of my whole being. I felt hurt, rejected, and assaulted. Contempt such as mockery and ridicule made me feel worthless and despised. It caused a shiver whenever my partner would want to speak to me. By being defensiveness, my partner made me feel like he does not take me seriously and does not appreciate my efforts.  Stonewalling caused an emotional breakdown and made it hard to express my thoughts and feelings.

(354words)